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A diary of a hungry puff ball. Feel free to post. 
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:57 pm
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July 8, 2013

Current mood: Having a stomach ache right now...



- I make pasta with red peppers and garlic for my family. I think I ate too much and my stomach hurts... -_-


- I caught a FRLG Lugia! It didn't take long to catch it which I am really surprise considering that I didn't have Lyrit as a partner. I think I will hunt a retro Moltres next and catch it with a sparkle ball. Or try to catch a GSC Lugia (I can dream right?).

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- And the Star-Crossed Ralts are awesome! *O* And to make it more awesome, it has a sparkle ball! Wow! This is really kind of Shiro and yoshimitsu for making the sprites.

- I can't really think what to write and my brain is getting fuzzy. I should head to bed since I have work tomorrow and it's the last day (for this week).

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Mon Jul 08, 2013 11:01 pm
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Location: A fantasy world deep in my head
If you still need a grammar checker I will do it
But I will be leaving for sleep away camp on Saturday and will be gone foe three weeks
I would enjoy checking your grammar if you don't mind a three week hiatus

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Tue Jul 09, 2013 11:05 am
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starbit wrote:
If you still need a grammar checker I will do it
But I will be leaving for sleep away camp on Saturday and will be gone foe three weeks
I would enjoy checking your grammar if you don't mind a three week hiatus


The other entry that I wrote about grammar was a joke. I was joking to see how much my grammar improves after taking a writing class. I am getting better with grammar, except when I am doing any freewriting (ex. my journal) or when I am using a computer. Then it pretty much goes downhill from there. :(

But yeah, I tend to write off my thoughts from on top of my head and sometimes the thoughts came off differently or end up being the opposite. Sometimes I wish I didn't write it down, but in the end, I enjoy reading off my journal. It helps me to reflect myself.

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Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:06 pm
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Location: A fantasy world deep in my head
Ok I get it, that's fine

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Tue Jul 09, 2013 5:48 pm
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July 9, 2013

Current mood: Thoughtful



- It's so funny and true that there are important life lessons that you need to know, but never taught in school. For some reason, I feel like to reflect my life and write the lessons that struck my mind.

"There are two ways of learning: The easy way and the hard way. Try to do the easy way when possible. Don't learn the hard way. The hard way is never fun."- From a middle school friend

One of my friends told me and it engraves in my mind since that day. The easy way is either listening to someone's advice and avoid sticky situation or learn from others' mistakes. The hard way is you fix your own mistakes and this is always difficult. Sometimes learning the hard way is better depending on your situation and if it doesn't ruin or end up taking your own life, but most of the time, you end doing more than the easy way. Looking back in my middle and high school, I made some choices and take the easy way. I tried to fit in by changing my attitude and I figure it out that it wasn't worth the effort to impress the in group. I want to have friends, but I want friends who will always on my side even if I am in a bad situation. I don't want friends who just want to hang out with me when everyone is in a good mood. Or friends who don't care about you at all if you stuck in a bad situation when hanging with them. I saw many people in 9th grade who hung out with their group and by the time they are in 11th grade, the group has split up. Some of them have a baby and their group didn't want to hang out with them because they don't do the partying anymore or because they naturally drifted apart due to different interest. I am glad that I never try to change myself to the extremes to fit in.

One of the things I learn the hard way is to know the boundaries. Sometimes I make a rude comment as a joke, but it ends up hurting someone's feelings. I was being careless and ruin a potential friendship. I blame myself and my slow mind for not learning social rules. I have trouble figuring things out when the rules aren't clear. It's fine when you tease someone once in awhile, but you can't be too cruel on your remarks. I regret from saying a rude comment to him and even though we are in good terms, it was never the same. I learn to think before speaking and consider other people's feelings.



"Nothing is free in life."- My parents

Even when there are free things, it's never "completely" free. For example, scholarships. Everyone thinks scholarships are free and easy to earn. They are wrong. You have to be persist and enter several scholarships and hope that you win at least one of them. Even if you win one, usually you have to keep your GPA up to maintain that scholarship. You still get the money for free in terms of money, but you still have to put some effort whether you have to devoted yourself to labor or you follow the scholarship rules by studying more or sacrifice some of your free time. I always get pissed when someone complaining that all the poor students are getting the scholarships and they don't have to do anything. The truth is, not everyone who gets a scholarship is in poverty and people just don't give scholarships like candy.

If you got something for free, most likely someone have to work hard to do it for you. You got a home and food for free when you are little. Your parents/guardians are working in order to pay up the house bills and provide basic needs. They don't ask you to pay them back when you grow up, they did it because they care about you.



"You will face adversity in your life, but don't forget to laugh or else you will eventually forgot to smile."- Myself

Before 7th grade, I rarely joke around and often have a cynical attitude toward the world. Actually, I wasn't a happy person back in 6th grade. I recovered from depression and still trying to figure out myself. I don't believe in nonsense and can't see myself being a clown. Until I met my math teacher. He teases me and other students because he wants to and enjoys torturing students. At first, I was really mad at him for assuming that I was a messy student when it's only one time and I would talk back. Then I become more bold and talk back more to my math teacher and he would do the same thing too. I surprised myself every time I talk back. I don't normally disobey or talk back, but for some reason, I enjoy making snide remarks back and forward with my teacher. He taught me how to prepare for high school math, but he unintentionally taught me to learn how to laugh. I don't need to be serious and stoic all the time, sometimes you need to let down and just laugh. I also discovered that I like to joke around and being snarky and that's part of who I am. I am glad that I met my math teacher and would like to thank him for preparing me for high school math and for teaching me how to have a sense of humor.

Spoiler: show
I would never thank him in person because he would think it's strange to hear me thanking him for teaching me to have a sense of humor. Oh, and I went back and saw my old math teacher again. OH MY GOSH, HE STILL REMEMBERS ME AND STILL MAKES THE SAME SNARKY REMARKS TO OTHER STUDENTS. Why am I surprise? -_- And he and I make snarky remarks towards each other for old time sake. This brings me a smile and brings back the memories...


"There's nothing wrong with being yourself. You may have some unpleasant habits or personality that others may not like or agree, but you should accept that is a part of yourself.- Myself

Okay, this quote does not apply to you if you are a type of person who manipulates other to get what you want without any remorse or if you have a violent personality and harm yourself or others. But anyway, this is about my personality. Sometimes I tease my friends by making sarcastic jokes, but other people would think of me as a witch without getting to know me. Since high school, I try my best not to go too far and hurt someone's feelings yet I enjoy teasing with them back and forward. I am a serious, stoic, and a studious person yet I am also outgoing, and sassy. I can never see myself as a clown because I am struggling to find myself. I am not good at improv and I need to practice what I need to say before presenting. I did crack some jokes, but it was only to my close friends who know me well. But then it was my science teacher who helped me accept myself. I don't need to be conscious whether or not I embarrass myself or put myself out there too much, I say whatever I am thinking about.

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Tue Jul 09, 2013 11:29 pm
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July 26, 2013

Current mood: Happy

- This fits in with the puff ball even though it's not Kirby.

Image Image

And even though RNG gave me a monthly goal to catch one shiny, I did it. So take that! I have the worst luck with shinies, so this is a big accomplishment for me.

Spoiler: show
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WOO! CELEBATION TIME COME ON!


Okay, that's enough excitement over a shiny pokemon. Let's talk about Vdex and real life.

- Finished the raffle for the Knives and Vindictive natures. And working on Deadly nature still. Hopefully the daycare will give me the nature soon...



- Switched from Allen to Hari and Nao to get Latios. Which is one of the reasons why I spent more time in Vdex. That, and finishing up breeding.



- Real life: I finished my job in the school, but I am still babysitting. I have more free time in the summer now, but what to do...
Anyway, I saw one of my old friends in middle school and it was fun catching up. We eat out and talk about our college experience. I am glad that I get to see at least one of my friends again. Either my friends or I would say "We should hang out" and we don't do really go beyond that. It's because either we are busy with work or we make up excuses. And we are lazy. Ugh.



- I have about one month of summer break until I am back in campus. I still want to do a couple of things before I come back. Still, I am looking forward to come back to my campus. I miss the freedom to stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning and going events with my friends. It's not the same at home, but I really miss my family and the food. But I am also feeling a little bit bored at home. To fix that, I bike around town. Usually I bike about 3 or 4 miles on average. Sometimes, I try out a new restaurant in downtown and I always like exploring the cities by biking. Car parking is terrible in downtown and they charge you a lot for it. I prefer traveling by bike if I can to a car even though I can drive.

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Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:18 pm
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July 31, 2013

Current mood: Mellow



- Last Saturday was a disaster. Why oh why did I have to go there? I feel like I'm in hell when I arrive to the place. How awkward it is? Really awkward. I gave a fake friendly gestures and they also did the same thing too. And acting this way is killing me as well seeing my relatives. I rather suffer my bad days in my middle school than visiting my relatives.


How I feel about the entire situation:

Spoiler: show
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What I want to do after this:

Spoiler: show
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And maybe distracting myself by making myself going insane.



- One thing I am happy about the weekend is my daycare is kind enough to give me 2 male SN eggs as though Vdex has pity for me for last weekend. Otherwise, I would rather forget the whole thing.



- Anyway, now I got the bad things out of the way, I watched Smurf 2 with my family. It wasn't bad, but I thought the film took forever to end. I like the naughty Smurfs better than the good Smurfs because they are more interesting and I feel sad for them when they were outcasts and even their father doesn't really care them at all. Also, I am not fond with humans and cartoon mash up together. Despite the complain, I enjoy spending time with my family. I will be back in school by the end of August, so I will spend some time with them before I leave.



- I caught this beauty!

Image I like shiny emerald Lugia, and shiny Platinum Lugia the best. I am not fond of the FRLG or R/S Lugia sprite because the mouth makes it look ugly in my opinion. :/ I didn't want to use the sparkle ball on either of them. I have one more sparkle ball left. I will use it on a legendary pokemon, but I rather use other than Moltres or Lugia. Hmmm... I will think about later.

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Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:38 pm
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August 2, 2013

Current mood: Lazy



- Daycare is still trolling. They hating on me. Why. Feeling frustrated right now. I just need one more egg to go and it's a Nature trade. I might take a male instead of a female due to the fact that I have a long breeding list. So much for breeding Lyrit and anime natures...



- I got a pecha berry from Hari and Nao. And you know what? They gave me the same thing about 2 years old when I had them back then. Pretty odd. Meh. Prefer Allen since he helps berry growing. And gives me more items than Hari and Nao.



- We have a lot of special natures lately. I love having a Chef capsule, but I only want a few of them. I personally wouldn't want to collect all the special natures because there's a lot of them and I prefer certain natures to others. Some capsules I want to collect all the natures in it are Lyrit, Fairy, and most of the Your nature. I left out natures that I didn't like because I didn't get the reference or I didn't care much.

Let's look how many new special natures (from a capsule) we got all at once in 2011, 2012 and 2013: (I do not include Zodiac-Based Natures, ditto natures, and Substitute Doll natures and event related natures).

In 2011, the most special natures we got in once was in June with light and dark Ralts. (The light/dark Ralts didn't actually have the capsule until January 2013, but I count the light and dark Ralts anyway.) Then we got Allen capsule in July. In August, we got Zan capsule.
In total, we got 21 Light Ralts, 21 Dark Ralts, 21 Allen natures, and 21 Zan capsules. This adds up 86 new special natures in 2011. That's a lot of natures in one year. Most of them came from the Light/Dark Ralts in June where back then you can only get the natures in Ralts.

In 2012, we got Lyrit capsule (my favorite capsule yay) in January. Then a few months later, we got Short capsule in May. The total for new special natures in 2012 is 41 special natures which is less than half from last year. Since we got a lot of crapload of special natures from last year, it's not that bad we have lack of new special natures compare to last year. Many people are on long breeding list from older special natures and having a gap gives the special nature collectors time and break to collect any missing special natures they wanted. They can also do their personal breeding to for their desired pokemon.

In 2013, we got Fairy capsule (17) in March, Flower capsule (12) in April, Anime capsule (20) in June, Your capsule (20) in July, and a Chef capsule (25) in August. The total new special natures we got so far in 2013 is 94. Which is 8 more than in 2011. And the users get to choose the natures for 3 out of 4 capsules.

Looking back at the data, in my opinion the new capsules should be hold up until toward the end of year or new year. We got a lot of special natures all in once and I personally feel overwhelmed because I am breeding a couple of natures and I don't have the room or time to breed all the special natures I wanted. Some may argue that we have a bunch of new natures from the Zodiac-Based Natures last year, but that didn't stop them for collecting other special natures. But not every special nature collector is interested collecting them and they only collect the natures in the capsule. Others may pick and choose the natures they like.



- Some of the capsules I like the theme, but not so much of the natures. I love the anime capsule, but I personally think it's too broad and there should be a couple of different capsules to narrow it down. There can be an otaku capsule and it would have natures that has overused/cliche or funny phrases in anime. A magical girl capsule where it make references to Cardscaptor Sakura, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Shugo Chara, and other magical girl shows. And there should be some natures that make fun of magical girl shows. :P And there can be a Shounen capsule that make references to shounen shows such as Bleach, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, and yugioh and other shows too. (For Yugioh, as much I love the abridged series, I don't want to have most of the natures to be from the series. It gets annoying and old when people keep referencing from the parody. And please no suggestions to anything with shipping. I think there's too much shipping wars in Yugioh fandom and it can get pretty ugly).



- For chef capsule, I didn't get THEY'RE EATING HER, AND THEN THEY'RE GONNA EAT ME, and the OH MY GOOOOOOOD nature until I watched the original video. That was a really horrible acting there. And I can see that it's a narm charm and the line is funny even though it's a serious moment. Some of the natures I didn't get at all (and not interested getting them) such as Soylent Green, the sausage is people, and laughing alone with salad. And also, I am sad that we do not get "Wrapped in bacon" and it was an awesome idea from Vigilia. Who doesn't like bacon? And I want a bacon based nature. ): And the Chef capsule makes me hungry. Better catch some pokemon for food...

- Since I am talking about special natures in capsules, I might as well end it by talking about my favorite capsules. My favorites are Lyrit, Fairy, and the Anime capsule.

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Fri Aug 02, 2013 3:05 pm
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August 12, 2013

Current mood: Happy



- Lately I have been spending my time more on hanging out with one of my friends (And also dealing with my real life things). It was nice to see her again! Everyone has changed from high school, but there are some things are stay the same. Anyway, I just pretty much going to restaurants and cafes with my friends. I have a couple of weeks until I will head back to the campus early. I will work to earn some extra money for study abroad in January. But despite the fact that I have work, I will put more effort meeting up with my old friends before summer is over. And that's a promise!



- Note to self: Never go to bed right after logging off the computer and just before midnight. I swear, I have some of the craziest dreams whenever I am on a computer for a long period of time. That was one of the worst shock I ever got from a dream. Have you ever have a dream where an event happens and it actually happens in real life? Or dreamt about someone and actually saw them after not seeing them for a long time? Neither? Then, I must be a paranoid person...



- Dear Daycare,

It's been about 3 weeks and you are still trolling with me. I am begging you to PLEASE, PLEASE give me a "Deadly" Zangoose ( I don't care if I got beat up in the process while handling the egg). This is the only request I am asking. And you are killing me with the long queues. Please give me a break.


Sincerely Kirby-Chan

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Mon Aug 12, 2013 11:29 pm
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August 19, 2013

Current mood: Tired



- Finally got a Deadly nature for my last request! :D Now breeding "Knightly" HGSS Shello for a giveaway.

When you think of knights, they are brave and loyal. Not to mention they can physically fight any opponent. Alright, a sea slug wouldn't be an ideal knight since they are rather sluggish and not scary or intimating. But they make great knights for sand castles since they can actually adapt well in the beach and ooze out poison for defense. These "Knightly" Shellos will protect your sand castles from pesky crabs and seagulls. Own one today! :D



Future breeding (this will take a long time due to gender bias): Tildes~ on Silver Jigglypuff

Alright, I have no idea what Tildes means except for the fact that is used for spanish by putting ~ above n (and the internet doesn't really help much). According to the internet, tildes are used for expressing positive thoughts in messages. So I guess that Jigglypuff would become an overly cheerful balloon. At least it's one of the Lyrit natures that doesn't results in having murderous thoughts or liking knives. (The other nature would be a "Devoted. Overly so." on Growlithe) So, who wants a overly adorable Jigglypuff that speaks with Tildes in every sentence~ Unless you are allergic to cute things, you should get one~ Will be friendly and definitely not plan to kill you~



Breeding in the future: Murderous thoughts? What murderous thoughts? :) on Crystal Pikachu

Unfortunately, the murderous Wooper has strikes again. He is influencing Pikachu to become an evil pokemon. Since Pikachu has arms, it has the ability to carry knives and can be dangerous. Do not be fool by the face. The face may look cute first, but the longer you look at it, the more disturbing he gets. He has the look of the murderer...

Image

He is currently looking at your soul and planning to kill you in a gruesome way. Right now.

This creeper named Freddy Krueger has been guilty of murdering several pokemon and people alike. Currently, it is locked in the cage with other dangerous pokemon for the safety of the Vdex community. Now, it is plotting to murder unsuspected owners and deceiving them with his cute face. Too bad Pikachu has also a cute face to deceive owners. It is advised not to get a Murderous Pikachu if you value your life. No matter how cute it is and how fitting the nature is.

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Last edited by Kirby-Chan on Fri Aug 23, 2013 2:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Aug 19, 2013 10:47 am
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August 20, 2013

Current mood: Mellow and tired



- I am feeling anxious about the upcoming school year as a sophomore in college. Most of the bill is taken care of for this semester, but I have to work about a couple of hours more to have enough money for study abroad. Not only money is on my mind, I also worried about getting in the Nursing program because it's so competitive. And I am not sure if I wanted to pursue Nursing after experiencing other fields. So right now I am feeling stuck.



- My classes are exciting so I am looking forward to school. I am not looking forward to wake up for 8am classes for every single day. I took one 8am class in my first semester and sometimes I have a hard time focusing in class. A couple of times I doze off. The class was interesting, but it wasn't enough to keep me awake. I try to avoid 8 am classes like the plague unless I have no choice.



- Vdex stuff: Haven't seen a shiny August 2013 Chingling yet. I have Ada as a partner and I am currently hunting for Shiny Sneasel. Actually, I wanted to find a shiny Corsola, but I can't find events in water. Hopefully I find it before getting the shiny Chingling since Ada will reset it. Didn't find a shiny Sneasel, but I found a crystal Sneasel. :) And a R/B Golbat. The Golbat looks really derpy because the tongue is almost as big as the head and it looks ridiculous. Also, the eyes are creeping me out.

Image Image

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Tue Aug 20, 2013 11:34 pm
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September 9, 2013

Current mood: Mellow



- I already moved back to my campus and settled down. I am glad to be back in school (except for doing homework). Joined a couple of new clubs and I might think about volunteer or mentor this semester.



- Since I am back in school, I will be not active as much in vdex except for discarding eggs and finishing up my breeding queue. So I still be around in vdex, but I will not post much in the forum.
And another reason why I won't be active: Blame Human Anatomy class. This class revolves around memorization and there's a lot of stuff I need to cover.

At some point in this semester, I will end up like this:

Spoiler: show
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Really looking forward to drive myself insane this year. *sarcasm*



- I am really excited for Pokémon X and Y, but I can't buy the game because I don't have 3DS. :/ If I can choose a starter for myself, I would pick either a Chespin or Froakie. Fennekin is a cute starter and I normally pick a fire starter, but I don't know why I didn't want a Fennekin.

Starters that I pick from gen 1 to gen 5:

Charmander, Cyndaquil, Treecko, Piplup, and Snivy.

Will edit later to explain why I pick my choices.

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Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:17 pm
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September 12, 2013

Current mood: Frantic



- Important announcement: If you haven't already done it and you want to thank someone for giving something to you without expecting anything in return, please participate amaoto's Thank You Giveaway! I hope she is not leaving Vdex. Otherwise, I will mourn for her... D:



- Since this is related to selfless giving, my mind has always remembering and constantly forgetting that someone gave me a r/b Moltres on 12/12/12. I really want to thank the anonymous gifter. That was about several months late, but who cares. This is a thoughtful gift and I will treasure the bird with other Moltres. :)

Image


Btw, does anyone know who is the mysterious gifter? I am dying to know. *thinks over*


- Still no Male Tildes~ Jigglypuff. D: If it doesn't show up by next week or so, I will switch the daycare pairs up and come back later...


- Now I should get back to studying. This is taking longer than I thought.

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Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:36 pm
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October 14, 2013

Currently listening: Berzerk by Eminem & When I was Your Man by Bruno Mars

Current mood: Anxious



- I just got home recently for the fall break and even though I am glad to see my family again, I end up getting sick. Plus I need to study because I got an exam on the day when I come back. Yeah you can tell that I did not have the greatest time at fall break.



- I am sad to see that a couple of older Vdex players have decided to leave. First Lilyice, now Amaoto. ;_;
Seeing those farewell giveaways makes me sad and touching because they were kind enough to give out things to other people. This reminded me one of the first giveaway I joined (when I was less than 2 months old) that is run by Sierra. She was really kind and give out a lot of raffles. And I remembered Boo's giveaway for monthly parcels for anyone who was unable to donate. And I remembered Winston for the numerous raffles.



- Looking back at the previous giveaways made me feels old. There were a lot of people I know from 2011 have disappear, but some still are active around the forum. I am glad that I get to see them around. Due to my schoolwork, I am unable to post regularly in the forum but I do lurk in the forum from time to time. I am applying for the Nursing program right now and I will know if I got in by next semester. The truth is, I don't really know what I want for sure in my life. There's so much opportunities I want to do and there's not enough time for me to explore because life is moving so fast.



- Vdex related: Here are some of the pokemon I caught from this month or last month (and even from August).

Image (shiny balled) Image (Ada helped me get her) Image (Again Ada)

Special Natures:
Image(Adopt from gacha o.O) What is it, I don't even know... I never find any good stuff in gacha, so this is a surprise for me! :O
Image
Image (Thank you Typical Bad Guy! :D)
Image (Thank you Amaoto and for NTrinnu2 for suggesting it to me! I don't really deserve it. *Sobs* And I named him :C for my expression. XD



- Thinking about getting a ghastly Lugia before the event ends. Hopefully I can get a GSC Lugia before I get the ghastly version.

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MI time: 12:07 at Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.


Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:56 am
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:57 pm
Posts: 3042
October 24, 2013

Current Mood: Tired.



- Between exams and homework, I manage to find time to post and hunt the Halloween events. I love them! I caught the non shinies of Pichu and Joltik. Now I need the shiny versions. Oh, and Vdex is being a troll again. 2 weeks and there is not a single "Dangerous" Wooper. Just why daycare. Why. :/



- I found a shiny HGSS2 Ponyta while hunting for the events. :O

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- Real life: I finished my mid term exams. Some of them I find confident that I did well on it. Others, not so much. I feel like crying when I got the results from my Human Anatomy exam. This year I am busier than usual and I am starting to lose control of my emotions. I am started to cry out of no where which is a problem for me since I never done it since middle school. What helps me to get through is my friends and I talked to them about my bad day and how I am struggling in my classes. And giving each other hugs. Because when you hug, you are releasing your stress and there's a chemical that makes you happier. I know this from someone explaining to me.


I seriously suggest to my friends that we should have a group hug for people who are struggling to pass their classes. We can have a one big happy family.

Free hugs to everyone! :D

Spoiler: show
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- I now have 2 jobs in the campus. One of them is driving around the campus and picking the students up when they need a ride to their dorms. I love that job because I can study while waiting for them and I can think about this while working: "They see me rolling, they hating." XD And I sometimes pretended that I am a super spy and my job is to track villains down while escort the people safety. I don't need to work a lot of hours in both of my jobs, but I should pick better hours for it. I rather work in the afternoon on weekdays than on weekend nights.



- I need to get off Vdex and study for one of my classes. So yeah, here's is part of my life recorded.

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Image Spread the love of berries! <(-⌒_⌒-)>

The Warp Star shop!
Buying: A lot of Sunstones Auction: Nothing Kickass: A Revolution Wishlist

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MI time: 12:07 at Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.


Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:08 pm
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:57 pm
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November 1, 2013

Current mood: First depressed, then confused, and then tired.

Music I am listening to: Cosmic Cove Galaxy from Mario Galaxy 2



*Warning: This is a depressing post because I have a crappy day. Do not read any further if you dislike reading it. You have been warn.



Spoiler: show
- You know what? Daycare can keep trolling me for all I care because I have real life to deal with and it's been hell. Lately I have been stressed out with school and I started to cry out of nowhere. I tried to talk out with my adviser which helps but unfortunately even though I feel better when talking things out, somehow I am crying and was not able to control it. I was feeling blue for the past couple of days and my moods are constantly changing. I don't even know why am I reacting this way. Even I am losing motivation for school and I can no longer control my emotions.

Middle spoiler for people who may not feel comfortable reading about self-injury:



Do not read the middle spoiler if you are uncomfortable reading about self harm.
Spoiler: show
I cannot believe I done this, but while I was crying out of control, I feel the pain in my heart is unbearable and the next thing I know, I scratch my wrist really hard with my fingernails (not hard enough to draw blood, but there were red marks for most of the day). I did that because I want the pain to stop and somehow this was a good idea. I never did any self injury in my entire life until now, and I end up feeling ashamed after realized what I have done. Currently I am more stable right now and I am doing okay.


Spoiler: show
- I know that the actions I did are the red flags and it's a sign that I need some help (despite the fact that I talk to my counselors and other people). I also need to self reflect myself and see why I am acting this way. After I calm down and have a clear head, I kinda figure out my problem: This is connected to my childhood and the emotions I am feeling back then is coming back now. I feel the same feeling of helplessness, weakness, and sadness I had experienced today from back then when I suffered from depression. All of the feelings I suffered is due to my low self esteem back in my childhood and I feel I can never amount to do anything. I feel crushed by the pressure from the school and I feel I cannot do anything to boost my grades up and no matter how hard I try, I end up failing.

- I discuss my problems with my friends and it helps to know that I am not alone and my friends can listen and support me. It also helps to know that I can relate how my friends struggle through school and are frustrated just like me and went through similar situations (hopefully not do anything I did in the spoiler). I am feeling better after talking to a couple of people and I decided to not do any homework for today. I decided to hang out in my room and then hang out with my friends later on tonight. Hopefully I will be more emotional stable for the next few days and will be able to get back on track.

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Image Spread the love of berries! <(-⌒_⌒-)>

The Warp Star shop!
Buying: A lot of Sunstones Auction: Nothing Kickass: A Revolution Wishlist

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MI time: 12:07 at Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.


Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:45 pm
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:57 pm
Posts: 3042
November 2, 2013

Current mood: Inspiring and tired

Music I am listening to: No Love by Eminem



- Today I am feeling better than yesterday and even though I do not answer questions I have on myself, I remembered the goals I strive for while in college. What made me inspire was the book my group and I wrote for the summer. We talked about what kinds of qualities we want to have in the future. How we came up what qualities we would like to have is examining people who we admire and what traits they have that make them a role model in our eyes. I always feel silly reading my past papers and I would feel self conscious reading them, but it helps me remember the kind of person I wanted to be. One of my goals is I want knowledge accessible to everyone regardless of wealth, race, etc. I always have a thirst for knowledge and I believe that it's important for people to obtain knowledge so they are able to think critically for themselves. It's better to form their own opinions than blindly following other people's opinions.



- Have a long night, and I have a great time with my friends at the event. Good food and entertainment. I am getting sleepy right now. I will head to bed now. Oh yeah, I forgot that the time goes backward by 1 hour. What should I do with the extra hour? Eat, sleep, or procrastinate? XD

_________________
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Image Spread the love of berries! <(-⌒_⌒-)>

The Warp Star shop!
Buying: A lot of Sunstones Auction: Nothing Kickass: A Revolution Wishlist

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MI time: 12:07 at Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.


Sun Nov 03, 2013 12:01 am
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:57 pm
Posts: 3042
November 6, 2013

Current mood: Mellow



- Vdex related: Finally get a single Dangerous nature from the daycare! Can we get a hallelujah chorus? And I caught a shiny male Zubat and a shiny ghastly Mankey.

Image Image



- Since I am finished with my queue, I can start to breed my holiday gifts. I have not done holiday gifts by breeding for one of these reasons: I already doing my queue for my shop, I don't like just stopping my queue in the middle (because I like to finish what I start with), there's a chance that daycare trolls me, and even if I make gifts, I have trouble who I will give to them.



- For people who order SN from me, you may or may not notice that I put blurbs in the trading message. I like doing them because it's fun to come up with funny messages that fits with the nature. And I like to spice things up by putting something different from stating the purpose of the trade. Even though I put messages in my trades for SN, I never put messages in the PM. Until I did the Murderous Thoughts on Pikachu. And that combo with the smiling Pikachu that resemble like the smile of the silver Wooper is so creepy and awesome that I PM this to everyone who ordered the Pikachu (some people may get a slightly different message because I changed some of it to make it more fitting).

Kirby-Chan wrote:
I got your egg for 17k. I will send in the trade. Please respond to the trade asap. >:)

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO CANCEL YOUR ORDER. THIS MURDEROUS WOOPER IS NOW INFLUENCING PIKACHU TO MURDER INNOCENT PEOPLE WITH KNIVES AND A CREEPY SMILE TO BOOT. PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU SAVE YOURSELF BY CANCELING THE ORDER! I AM CURRENTLY BEING HACKED BY THE EVIL WOOPER KNOWN AS FREDDY. HE WILL CREATE MURDEROUS PIKACHU AND TAKE OVER VDEX!

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Please ignore the above statement with the all caps letter. My evil minion is acting strange because she forgot to take her medicine. Anyway, here's what your offspring will look like:

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Doesn't the pikachu looks adorable with the same creepy smile as me? :)


And the trade message: Please keep him away from electoral circuits and knives.And by having this murderous Pikachu, you will likely attract other murderous Pikachu and have an army of them. Thank you for supporting the Wooper army by buying the egg. :D



- Real life: I have an exam coming up and I am feeling very anxious for it. I fail the first exam and I am changing my study habits so I can do better in the second exam. I am hoping that I can do better in the next one. I am also limiting my use of the internet because it interferes with my school life and it cost my grade. So far, I am doing better with it even though sometimes I still on the computer for 3 hours doing nothing. Before then, I used to spend around 6+ hours on the internet. I think my generation is pretty much addicted to the internet or anything with the screen. Don't get me wrong, technology is pretty useful and it makes our lives easier. But when you started to prefer to go on the internet or on your smartphone than hanging out with your friends, then there's a problem. Technology ends up hurting our social relationships because people now don't really want to talk with other people and enjoy the moment. It's easier to go on your smartphone/ the internet to talk than talking to someone face to face. It's pretty sad seeing people are distancing themselves from others by being on the internet all the time.

Also, I really get mad when my friend is on their smartphone and they are surrounded by our friends and we are talking with each other. It rubs me the wrong feeling that you don't really want to talk with us or hang out with us.

Here's the video called I forgot my phone and the video is about what the title saids. Plus it deals with how people in this time are getting obsessed with technology and they lose their sense of absorbing the moment (ex: whenever someone is throwing a birthday party and you are recording instead of watching them with your own eyes).

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The Warp Star shop!
Buying: A lot of Sunstones Auction: Nothing Kickass: A Revolution Wishlist

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MI time: 12:07 at Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.


Wed Nov 06, 2013 1:15 am
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:57 pm
Posts: 3042
November 18, 2013

Current mood: Anxious and sleepy



Listening to: Enter the Twilight Realm - The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess



- So I have a stressful day and my anxiety got the best of me. I tell my mind to get calm down and try to ease up. Unfortunately, my mind is not listening to me. Yeah, this is a tough semester for me. And now I am stuck for about a couple of months until my decision is made for me. Despite having many pitfalls in my 2nd year in college, I enjoyed hanging out with my friends and I spent more time with them. They helped me through the tough times I went through.



- Now I should work on emailing my old friends and teachers. Everything happens all in once and it's hard to find time to just sit and feeling relaxed while emailing.



- Things to do: Reading for other classes, work on papers from my 2 classes, study my *** up for my Human Anatomy, and try to survive this week without anymore anxiety problems. Great. Reading the list makes me even more depressed.



- Oh yeah, this is a random awesome gif I found online. Nothing related to my post, but it's still awesome regardless.

Spoiler: show
Image

_________________
Image
Image Spread the love of berries! <(-⌒_⌒-)>

The Warp Star shop!
Buying: A lot of Sunstones Auction: Nothing Kickass: A Revolution Wishlist

Image

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MI time: 12:07 at Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.


Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:29 am
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Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2011 6:57 pm
Posts: 3042
December 3, 2013

Current mood: Calm

Listening to: Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing by Stevie Wonder



- I am done with catching pokemon for the Vdex anniversary since I got the points I needed for the troll Mew, a legendary, a dream ball (for catching Lugia) and maybe a Mew or 2. Still hunting for a shiny Mareep for the Aries scroll I got from Rheim.

Current progress:

Total Entries: 305
Total Points: 523
Number of Times Trolled: 4


- Also, I got this girl after using Image on the shiny ponyta.

Image

- In about a month from now, I will go to Morocco! I am so nervous and excited for the trip! :D I will not be active in vdex because I will be exploring and have limited access to the internet.


- I went home for Thanksgiving break and it was really relaxing. I never feel more happier to see my family again. It feels good not to do anything school related and spending time with them. We went to the buffet and the food was good, but it was expensive. Maybe next year we will go to our grandma house and she will cook for us.


- For December parcel, I like the winter Petilil! They are so beautiful! *O* The capsule capsule (wow the most redundant DP item ever) is a great idea and I like the randomness. It's not great for people who collected many natures since they most likely to get the one they already got. I would like to see a capsule that allows you to choose an existing SN on the pokemon. That would be very useful.


- Real life kept me busy with homework, studying the human body in my spare time, karaoke with my friends, and bunch of events. Ah. Might as well enjoy it while it last. College has gone by quickly and before I know it, I will be graduating. :O


- And I really want to see Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Movie Rebellion so bad. But the movies aren't even close to where I live. ;_;

_________________
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Image Spread the love of berries! <(-⌒_⌒-)>

The Warp Star shop!
Buying: A lot of Sunstones Auction: Nothing Kickass: A Revolution Wishlist

Image

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MI time: 12:07 at Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.


Tue Dec 03, 2013 10:23 pm
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