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Serious Advice Needed 
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Joined: Mon Feb 06, 2012 10:43 pm
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Maybe I'm just overreacting. But everyone I ask has no idea what to do. So I figured I would ask people that I don't know.

Anyways here's the story:
My boyfriend has recently just finished a divorce. A couple months before me and him started dating him and his wife split up. They had been working on their divorce and it just became final two weeks ago.

This girl is a crazy girl whom every since the word divorce was even brought up she has been spiteful and very rude to me. Even though it was their relationship that failed and had nothing to do with me because they had already split up before I even met him.

Me and my boyfriend, whom are planning on getting married. Are now living in a small apartment. He is working a full time job to pay bills and I'm a full time Information Technology major. Currently going for my BA but eventually getting my masters.

Just last week. So a week after there divorce. His ex-wife was outside our apartment. I know I overreacted on this but I freaked out that she was even here. It just upset me so bad!!

Found out she was here because she is moving in... next door. So her front door will be less than 10 feet from our front door...


I just want to know. What on earth should I do???
I don't wanna move. I love my home.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 11:06 am
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w-wow. I'm not sure I'm the right person to advise you in such matters, but..
maybe you should talk to her privately, and make sure she understands how uncomfortable this is going to be for everyone involved. just for the small chance she isn't doing it on purpose. but I agree, it sounds suspicious. look, in real life I rarely start a fight. I certainly never went to someone's house to yell at him/her. but if that happened to me, I would do just that. you must be a very patient person.
besides, you'll be doing her a favor. even from her point of view, she better move on. if she doesn't see it herself, maybe a family member / a friend can convince her. ask your boyfriend if he knows someone she trusts, who will be willing to help. if she's really obsessive as you think, it may take a lot of 'peer pressure' to get her to move out.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 2:17 pm
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i've tried talking politely with her and all of her responses are just grow up. You need to be an adult. I can live where ever I want to.

I've mentioned to the landlord that it might causes issues with her moving her. So the landlord said it to her. So now the ex is saying if I ruin her chances at this apartment she will ruin my life.

And he is friends with any of her friends because when they were together he wasn't allowed to talk to other females, even her friends. That's one of the reasons they split up.


I'm a very patient and respectful person. But this is just pushing me to the limits.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 3:43 pm
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Isn't that considered stalking?

I remember someone who did the same thing, kept moving into a house a few blocks near someone I know. I dunno though, said person was dangerous so of course they kept moving away and finally left the country/changed their last name and what not. Do you think she means any harm?

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:01 pm
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I don't think there is anything you can do except live with it since you don't want to move out, even though I believe that is a better solution.
She probably feels like "this woman just stole my husband" and probably has it somewhere in her mind that she can win him back, hence the moving next door.
It will probably be annoying and weird to live as neighbors but as long as she doesn't physically try and harm you then you should be okay.
If she does, well put a restraining order B)

Just don't let her get to you. Remember, you have something she wants.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:11 pm
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I'm not sure what her means are. She keeps saying that this is the ONLY apartment available in the area.

I feel like i'm running. But I moved to Pennsylvania and now I'm thinking of moving back to my home Iowa.
Which I've been thinking about anyways because I miss my family.

I really don't know if I'm running or if she is just pushing me to do this more.


But I feel like going back home is the only way to resolve this now.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:57 pm
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sounds like a you have a plan. I hope everything works out for you!

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Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:06 am
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silverwind wrote:
sounds like a you have a plan. I hope everything works out for you!



thanks.
i'm hoping it does too.

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Fri Oct 12, 2012 6:50 am
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I would say you and your boyfriend should ignore her if she does not respond to reason.
I mean don't even acknowledge her existence. The fact that she is getting a reaction from her actions is fuel to the fire and is encouraging her to push it.
Your boyfriend should especially implement that. If he isn't giving her the time of day then she will eventually move on. The apathetic behavior may make the behavior a bit worse for a little while but she should come to terms with the fact that it's over in time.

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Sat Oct 13, 2012 3:48 am
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Location: Floriderp, but my <3 is in IL.
Restraining order. Done. It will prevent her from even moving in if you extend it to xxx amount of yards/miles away.

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Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:33 am
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Teilayh wrote:
Restraining order. Done. It will prevent her from even moving in if you extend it to xxx amount of yards/miles away.


I was actually thinking of a restraining order.
But I'm not quite sure how to go about that.

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Sat Oct 13, 2012 6:37 pm
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i'd ignore her, and do my best not to start Blast. damn that sucks and all but she just wants a reaction out of you, letting her know that her action got a result. Don't give her what she wants and try to be the better person.

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Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:17 pm
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lol. This was posted in October 2012!

I have since become great friends with her.
and realized my (now) ex is stupid.

and we both have babies. (not that it's related to anything, but a fun fact!) lol!

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Tue Jan 14, 2014 12:04 pm
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